["don't waste the rest of your life blaming yourself" is a very funny thing to say to asa of all people, considering... well. it's fine. she stares at her for a moment longer and then just. covers her eyes with her hand.]
Are you talking from experience? About... not blaming yourself. About it not being worth it.
[Camille wets her lips. Her eyes dart between Asa's.
It's not like it's a well kept secret around here.
Calmly, coolly, she pushes up one sleeve to the elbow. Then the other.
Eveything from the wrist up is scarred. Jagged words carved into her own skin by whatever means she'd had, cultivated over the years. Curls. Worry. Dogma. Liar. Lipstick. Disjointed sentiments, cutesy feminine thoughts clashing against bitter lashings.
They continue past where she's lifted her sleeves. Very far.]
[the thing about being 18, barely, is that asa still lives in that headspace where she thinks that nobody in the world has it worse than her. everything feels so apocalyptic that it's hard to register that it's not necessarily true.
then she gets smacked in the face with something like this and she doesn't know what to do with it. stares at camille's arm in shock, mouth opening and closing like she's struggling to find the words.
after a few seconds, all she manages to say is a somewhat distraught:]
[She gets no pleasure from it. Camille folds the sleeves back down quick, swallowing thick, hesitant.
Was that the right move, or the wrong one? A wake up call or an extra weight on a young girl's back?]
Like I said, it's not worth punishing yourself. Bad things can happen to you. They can happen around you. And maybe sometimes because of you. I won't lie about that. That's life, we're all going to fuck it up in some way.
But the blame doesn't always lie with you. [She looks her in the eyes. Reaches for her arm, the gesture tender but tentative.] You're a better person than you believe yourself to be, Asa. If you really were so rotten, it wouldn't hurt so bad when things went wrong.
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scrapdraught) wrote2024-06-09 08:26 pm
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Are you talking from experience? About... not blaming yourself. About it not being worth it.
Cw: self harm
It's not like it's a well kept secret around here.
Calmly, coolly, she pushes up one sleeve to the elbow. Then the other.
Eveything from the wrist up is scarred. Jagged words carved into her own skin by whatever means she'd had, cultivated over the years. Curls. Worry. Dogma. Liar. Lipstick. Disjointed sentiments, cutesy feminine thoughts clashing against bitter lashings.
They continue past where she's lifted her sleeves. Very far.]
I've all but run out of space.
no subject
then she gets smacked in the face with something like this and she doesn't know what to do with it. stares at camille's arm in shock, mouth opening and closing like she's struggling to find the words.
after a few seconds, all she manages to say is a somewhat distraught:]
Camille...
no subject
Was that the right move, or the wrong one? A wake up call or an extra weight on a young girl's back?]
Like I said, it's not worth punishing yourself. Bad things can happen to you. They can happen around you. And maybe sometimes because of you. I won't lie about that. That's life, we're all going to fuck it up in some way.
But the blame doesn't always lie with you. [She looks her in the eyes. Reaches for her arm, the gesture tender but tentative.] You're a better person than you believe yourself to be, Asa. If you really were so rotten, it wouldn't hurt so bad when things went wrong.