I expect both Gale and Karlach are aware of my scarring. [ that was one of the... fun? if that's word for it. one of the fun things about their group.
seeing where they overlap, and fall in line. what did one of them do that the others didn't? what did they all do that was the same? if astarion thinks about what he knows of them, and the quieter more personal moments shared when they'd looked to him as the leader for some kind of guidance, he can take guesses at what gale and karlach might know about him.
the moments where his rage against cazador had come to the surface. had he gone to them with questions about his own back, and shown them the marks there directly? anything was possible. once he realised it could be something more than just sadistic poetry caved into his back for fun, and for the power trip that came with it. ] As for anyone else? Well. They can ask, but I don't have to tell them about it. Not if I don't want to.
[ Not if I don't want to.
now. that's a phrase. something he'd had to step back and realised he had no real concept of. something he'd had to step back and grab onto with both hands, squeezing tightly until he understood the meaning of it. what it meant to choose for yourself, for real. ]
Other than try not to die here? I don't really know. If you mean on a personal level, like this-- well. I'm better than I was when I realised I had a problem I needed to figure out. So that's something.
cw: scarification again. there are so many cws aaa.
seeing where they overlap, and fall in line. what did one of them do that the others didn't? what did they all do that was the same? if astarion thinks about what he knows of them, and the quieter more personal moments shared when they'd looked to him as the leader for some kind of guidance, he can take guesses at what gale and karlach might know about him.
the moments where his rage against cazador had come to the surface. had he gone to them with questions about his own back, and shown them the marks there directly? anything was possible. once he realised it could be something more than just sadistic poetry caved into his back for fun, and for the power trip that came with it. ] As for anyone else? Well. They can ask, but I don't have to tell them about it. Not if I don't want to.
[ Not if I don't want to.
now. that's a phrase. something he'd had to step back and realised he had no real concept of. something he'd had to step back and grab onto with both hands, squeezing tightly until he understood the meaning of it. what it meant to choose for yourself, for real. ]
Other than try not to die here? I don't really know. If you mean on a personal level, like this-- well. I'm better than I was when I realised I had a problem I needed to figure out. So that's something.
... And you?