[She swallows at that. Nods, like yes true, she can agree. Fine.
But suddenly she's wetting her lips, turning her head away. Her fingers crook into her sweater.]
...What was it like for you? Changing? [Her voice is tight. There's a flash of angry puffs. Quick swap to distressed drops. Then quaking lines of fear.]
Or was becoming a vampire something quick?
[Certainly not painless. But the pass from living to dead is always implied.]
[ … from one undead to another, he supposes. walking around and defying everything just by existing. ]
I was already dying when he turned me. The process… involved dying regardless, before my body was changed to fit what I was becoming. And when I crawled my way out of my own grave, he was waiting for me.
[Not so dissimilar then. Hers doesn't come with an unholy thirst — none that she's aware of — but the life she's been brought back to isn't amounting to much. Not if the cult gets their way.
And if they get out? What then? Back to Frank and Eileen's basement suite and try not to feel sorry for herself? What about all the grand destinies of the people that died before her? Hell, what about justice for time lost? Aqua comes to mind. Karma and Nona, by virtue of being too young to have done or seen anything. Cloud and Aerith, fighting for something bigger than either of them.
The stray thought of his stills her tongue though. She looks to him, her own moody cloud dissipating.]
I guess I don't have my own personal sadist to worry about. But I'm... [Her lips purse. She snorts, shaking her head.] Still on that old sacrificial hook.
I want to feel grateful. I should. Just...seems like they could have made a smarter pick. What the fuck am I gonna do here? For anyone?
I can't imagine a return to life is a smooth and easy transition at any moment.
[ not for a vampire, and not here either. ]
...
[ when he had come back to life it had been... strange. from the moment he was reshaped, reborn, he was cazador's. made to become a piece in his sacrifice, and subject to his whims. it was difficult to sit and consider how you felt about your return to some type of life when the person who owned you wanted you not to think at all.
... ]
Personally, I think you should feel however you want about it. If that's a confusing mess where you're not sure if you're grateful or resentful, then so be it.
You don't have to smile and thank anyone if you don't want to.
[She laughs. What would a smooth one look like? Death was so rarely painless. Coming back might be in her case, at least on the outside. Her mind had taken the beating instead.]
I've already said a few thank yous. Seems a bit rude not to, considering the effort made for me. [She grits her teeth. Twists her mouth. Her finger has been tracing letters on her forearm, unbidden. Unworthy.] Even ruder to dump the aggravation on them.
Death is always easier on the dead. Maybe I should be glad they yanked me back instead of someone else. Spared them the whole mess.
[Even if there's kids in the ground. Teenagers, some barely touching twenty, cut down all too soon.
That miserable cloud returns. They'll be sorry it was you soon.]
Yeah? [She smiles wryly at him, one brow raised.] If I go deck Rondo, you gonna back me up?
[Kidding. She couldn't lift a finger to him, even if she had the mind for it. Never out, always in.]
...Well, I'm not unhappy to see you either, asshole. [She gives him a bit of elbow for it. ] I don't like the implications either. But...Caelus said some things to me. Before I died. He found some research on the subject.
Might be a way to bring other people back. Without cutting their throats first.
I'd be like decking a particularly sad puppy, and he'd let you. But if you could, then I'd be suitably impressed.
[ he's fairly sure karlach would hunt him for sport so he wouldn't even try. ]
... Yes, Karlach mentioned she'd heard some rumours that our dead were potentially still around. You had to return from somewhere, didn't you? So maybe there is some weight to those rumours.
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scrapdraught) wrote2024-06-09 08:28 pm
no subject
It certainly was a quick turn around. [ like withers himself revived her. ]
I... wouldn't say that, exactly. Death is fairly final, after all.
no subject
But suddenly she's wetting her lips, turning her head away. Her fingers crook into her sweater.]
...What was it like for you? Changing? [Her voice is tight. There's a flash of angry puffs. Quick swap to distressed drops. Then quaking lines of fear.]
Or was becoming a vampire something quick?
[Certainly not painless. But the pass from living to dead is always implied.]
no subject
No, not really.
[ … from one undead to another, he supposes. walking around and defying everything just by existing. ]
I was already dying when he turned me. The process… involved dying regardless, before my body was changed to fit what I was becoming. And when I crawled my way out of my own grave, he was waiting for me.
[ So much for saving me. ]
no subject
[Not so dissimilar then. Hers doesn't come with an unholy thirst — none that she's aware of — but the life she's been brought back to isn't amounting to much. Not if the cult gets their way.
And if they get out? What then? Back to Frank and Eileen's basement suite and try not to feel sorry for herself? What about all the grand destinies of the people that died before her? Hell, what about justice for time lost? Aqua comes to mind. Karma and Nona, by virtue of being too young to have done or seen anything. Cloud and Aerith, fighting for something bigger than either of them.
The stray thought of his stills her tongue though. She looks to him, her own moody cloud dissipating.]
I guess I don't have my own personal sadist to worry about. But I'm... [Her lips purse. She snorts, shaking her head.] Still on that old sacrificial hook.
I want to feel grateful. I should. Just...seems like they could have made a smarter pick. What the fuck am I gonna do here? For anyone?
no subject
[ not for a vampire, and not here either. ]
...
[ when he had come back to life it had been... strange. from the moment he was reshaped, reborn, he was cazador's. made to become a piece in his sacrifice, and subject to his whims. it was difficult to sit and consider how you felt about your return to some type of life when the person who owned you wanted you not to think at all.
... ]
Personally, I think you should feel however you want about it. If that's a confusing mess where you're not sure if you're grateful or resentful, then so be it.
You don't have to smile and thank anyone if you don't want to.
no subject
I've already said a few thank yous. Seems a bit rude not to, considering the effort made for me. [She grits her teeth. Twists her mouth. Her finger has been tracing letters on her forearm, unbidden. Unworthy.] Even ruder to dump the aggravation on them.
Death is always easier on the dead. Maybe I should be glad they yanked me back instead of someone else. Spared them the whole mess.
[Even if there's kids in the ground. Teenagers, some barely touching twenty, cut down all too soon.
That miserable cloud returns. They'll be sorry it was you soon.]
no subject
[ he sighs. ]
I'm not unhappy to see you again, but pretending it's not a complicated affair with everything that's happened is a little difficult.
no subject
[Kidding. She couldn't lift a finger to him, even if she had the mind for it. Never out, always in.]
...Well, I'm not unhappy to see you either, asshole. [She gives him a bit of elbow for it. ] I don't like the implications either. But...Caelus said some things to me. Before I died. He found some research on the subject.
Might be a way to bring other people back. Without cutting their throats first.
no subject
[ he's fairly sure karlach would hunt him for sport so he wouldn't even try. ]
... Yes, Karlach mentioned she'd heard some rumours that our dead were potentially still around. You had to return from somewhere, didn't you? So maybe there is some weight to those rumours.
no subject
[Bottom behavior. I don't care that he is dead now we all know THE TRUTH.
Also this is. A bit of a downer. Hate to break it to you but:]
I didn't come back from anywhere myself. Just nothingness. Maybe I don't have a permit for paradise or purgatory.
[denied graveyard access on my BIRTHDAY!!!]
no subject
[ we all know marina tops. ]
[ HELP THE MODS REALLY SAID HAPPY BIRTHDAY KABBY YOU DON'T GET TO DIE. ]
Hmm. So, no questions answered about what could be out there but the point still stands -- you did come back.